Where Does Blaming Come From?

A note on Indian Parenting..

On corporate or non-corporate scenarios, I find a lot of people  on a day to day basis who fail on one thing, Accountability. Being a consultant working closely with man power and power packed teams, I have always wondered why Accountability has become a not so common trait in the Indian mindset. In a corporate hierarchy, I could always find the junior engineers being accountable only to their work assigned and their team leads and lack the connect to the end result of the project they work upon. The same replicates itself in different hierarchical orders. People change, powers and responsibility changes but being unaccountable or not caring for something beyond their work-role remains the same everywhere. I was particularly curious when I could find the same in every workplace, families and social circles. People always hope for someone to be there to put their blames on.

The interesting scenario is, this behavioural pattern only happens when there is a case of failure or mistake. When the situation is on favour of an individual or when it is a success scenario, I find people taking sudden responsibilities to claim the appreciation. So where does this come from? I grew curious day after day.

Tracking this pattern from adulthood to teenage, I could find the real roots even deeper. It was interesting to learn that this character originates from the age of 2-3 years. I could note few funny yet very damaging practises from the Indian parents. I could note that when a kid falls down, or when he/she bumps their head or get injured, the parent finds an easy way to stop them crying about it. What they do is asking the child to beat the floor when falling down. Interesting thing is that the parent joins this act themselves. They go along with the child, beats the ground and says “how dare you put my child down”. The child adopts this pattern at that very small age itself.  This pattern allows the kids to learn that when they fall, there is someone else to blame.

This is only my experience of things and research. After all Im someone who believes, “there is no perfect parenting”

Whats your say on this?



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