FRIENDSHIP- IS IT SELFISH?

“A common, very common but most valued feeling in human hearts”
“Human is a social animal and to say so, friendship dwells in them”
It is not the overwhelming priority and sacrifice that one is ready to give the other but even a smile to a stranger invokes the feeling of friendship.
As I have said in my earlier works, friendship and love are a lot confused among us. Love itself is a feeling that most hearts are in a dilemma of. I would say that friendship is also a form of love. It is because of the love within us and to others that we are even smiling at them. It simply means that we love them as they are, as human.
From my point of view,
“Friendship rules our mind and love, our hearts”
When someone starts disturbing our heart more than our mind, someone makes us do things that we don’t give a rethinking of, then we are said to be in love with them. The simple fact that our culture has taught us is that if such a feeling comes to the same sex, we call it friendship and if it comes to the other sex, we call it love.
Some consider a single person (of same or different sex) as their best friend and they would always compare others with them. This avoids them to be closer with other friends. I was also in such a condition once. I compared each one of my friends with my best friend and found none worthy enough.
But a time came when we had to accept life between us and maintain a distance. We started being busy with our schedules and that sudden absence made my days blank. I was not able to concentrate on anything, neither was I able to take any decisions. That was when I learned how dependent I was and how narrow my thoughts were. I found myself in a real pathetic condition. This happens in most lives when they break any kind of bonds.
I remember the wordings of my sister that helped me come out of this smog,
“Every individual will have multiple persons as their best friends. It’s not dependent on the personality but the situation. You may love to spend time with someone, chat with some others, and tell your secrets to some and so on. You may also like someone because they are dependent on you. Never compare one with other. In one way or other, they are all your best friends.”
This is very true. Not only in my life but in everyone’s life. When we realize this, we actually realize life. We realize, no matter how close we are to our friends, one day or other we have to silently part away and maintain a distance from them to tackle our own life.
Now a fact that we all refuse to accept is that friendship is also a selfish feeling. Yes, it is. True friendship is a feeling where in, if you look deep at, you can see a lot of selfishness inside. Let us see an example,
We are friends with someone because they are close to US. We are friends with them because they depend on US. We are friends with them because WE tell OUR secrets to them or they tell their secrets to US. We won’t be close or friends with someone because he/she is close with another person. Give this a rethinking and you’ll recognize the truth within.
But still friendship overflows in our mind. Even after years of separation, when we meet our friends or when we think about those golden days, it is not tears that come out of our eyes but it is the real feeling of FRIENDSHIP.



Leave a Reply